TruHoo
by Bayou Bebe
Summary: A little comedic piece where Jessica strives to come up with a comparison for Tru Blood. Based on the TV series and just for fun!


DISCLAIMER: Well first off, I don't own the Sookie Stackhouse novels, or the HBO spinoff series. I am making no money off this twisted little idea I'm writing. This is HBO canon, meaning of course it isn't book friendly. Please feel free to leave a review; any flames will be used to roast marshmallows!

**Tru-hoo**

Jessica sat contemplating the glass full of warmed Tru-Blood in front of her with the intensity reserved for the newly dead and mostly blind. She had succeeded for the most part, in tuning her maker Bill and his little human girlfriend out. After the first ten minutes she was insanely bored with their careful conversations and heated glances.

She turned her attention briefly to Bill and Sookie only to roll her eyes as they were talking about her job… again. Apparently Arlene had done something worth mention, although from what she herself had seen of Arlene she wasn't sure what on earth she could do to get any notice at all.

Turning back to the glass she carefully sipped it and crinkled her nose at the metallic artificial taste of the synthetic blood. Yes it was better mixed then one type straight up but it still paled in comparison to the real thing.

She looked up in vague interest as Bill kissed Sookie on the cheek, rolling her eyes as his expression barely flickered from the usual woe-is-me-I-invented-emo expression he normally wore.

Training her attention back to the blood in hand she sipped it again, her nose sneering as she smacked her tongue against the roof of her mouth from the viscous form of the life fluid.

Her expression brightened suddenly as she let loose a quick bark of laughter, "I got it!" she cried out happily, realizing a moment too late that she had forgotten to modulate her vocal volume.

Sookie was staring at her wide eyed, blinking rapidly in her direction as Bill turned his brooding stare to watch her with an apathetic interest.

Sookie smiled at Jessica, her eyes still cautious as she took in the camisole and shorts the teenaged vampire was wearing, "That's just great! What did you get?" She asked with her usual amount of perky curiosity.

Jessica held up the glass and carefully swirled it, watching as the thick fluid clung to the glass, tinting it red. "I finally figured out what this crap reminds me of!" She informed them happily as she took another sip, not bothering to sneer at the taste.

Bill rolled his eyes slightly; his face still closed off emotionally as he put his arm around Sookie's shoulders. "And pray tell what exactly it reminds you of?" he asked disinterestedly as he relaxed back into his antique couch and eyed the blood in Jessica's glass.

Jessica smirked at him not able to resist the urge to tease him, "Of course, Daddy! It reminds me of Yoo-hoo!"

His expression remained blank as Sookie gave her a confused look, "Really? How does it remind you of chocolate drink?" She asked in a disgustingly cheerful voice.

Jessica beamed at Sookie, mocking her in the enthusiastic tone she adopted. "Well, you know how Yoo-hoo looks like chocolate milk, and it kinda somewhat resembles the taste of chocolate milk but it really isn't? That's what this shit is like. It looks like blood and it sometimes vaguely resembles it. But it isn't really? It's like… like… well fuck its like Tru-hoo!"

Bill sighed and tightened his arm around Sookie, "Yes well… why don't you drink your chocolate milk and let Sookie and I have some time together… behave though… and be back by four am!" He said, sounding scarily like a father.

Jessica sighed and heaved herself from the slightly dusty chair. "Alright Daddy, all you had to do was ask, I'm gonna go visit Eric. He actually serves up the good stuff!" And with that, she sniffed at him and bolted from the house, laughing as he screamed after her to shut the door, pfft like she'd listen to him!

End.

Well what did ya'll think? It's my first True Blood fanfiction and its un-beta'd but I rather enjoyed it myself! Hope ya'll enjoyed it and don't forget to review!!!


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